Madeleine McCann's Parents

A reader made the following request:

"you [sic] may have heard of a case of a missing child from the UK called madeleine McCann [sic] the parents of this child have not come under suspicion for her dissappearence [sic] from the authority but many many members of the public are perplexed by their actions and statements.

here [sic] is the link to the only formal interview they have given since may 3rd when their child dissappeared [sic] i thought it may intrest [sic] you and i would love to hear your views"

Sky News Video Link

I think the McCanns are perplexing people right now because of their lack of emotions outwardly expressed in this video. I also believe many people are judging the McCanns on their poor judgment call to leave three children unattended, alone in a holiday apartment. Both of these together, perhaps, are generating suspicion.

I believe the McCanns made an awful mistake in leaving their three children unattended, even if they were sleeping, and the McCanns checked on the children every 30 minutes. But they did it. They didn't think through the ramifications of their actions. I think all parents have made poor judgment calls to varying degrees over their life as parents, it's just that few parents get stuck with such devastating results.

For the McCanns to live with a mistake of this proportion is monumental and life changing--if they accept the fact that Maddie may never come home again. It's devastating, but why aren't they acting devastated?

For some, this may raise a red flag. For me, it does not.

What if the McCanns haven't accepted the outcome that Madeleine will not come home? What if they are choosing instead to live in the belief that she will be found--that if they try hard enough, they will be able to bring her home? Believing that Maddie will come back to them would lessen the pain--in every respect. It would take away the focus that their mistake may have cost their precious daughter her life.

Would that account for their behavior? I suspect so. I am sure the pain of that last thought is so overwhelming, it could destroy someone's life. Denial is a powerful coping strategy for survival.

When I watch the McCanns speak, I see genuine emotions supporting the situation, their actions and words. I do not see anything that is out of character for someone who is choosing to focus on only one outcome: the safe return of Maddie. While their emotions are not worn on their sleeves, they are clearly there. There is genuine sadness, feelings of pain, loss and duress, yet there is a stoic optimism that they are clinging to, perhaps to protect themselves from the devastating reality.

When I watch the two parents, they are motivated people. They are doers and goers. They are optimists and believe in the good of people. They were trusting people overall, and they didn't walk around in the world with the belief it was a dangerous place. They weren't people who lived in fear. Instead, they looked at the odds and assumed they'd be just fine--that they would be fine, if they took the basic precautions. I am sure they assumed the likelihood of their children waking up and getting out of their cribs was remote. They just never thought someone might abduct their daughter--a thought they may regret for the rest of their lives.

As a bystander, when we are not directly involved and it is not our child, nor our circumstance or our pain, it is easy for us to look at all of the potentials. But when our heart is entwined in the matter, and the horrific outcome only moves to devastate your life, it's not so easy to look at the worst-case scenario. Many people instead go into denial.

I understand and trust the McCanns are honest, caring people who are paying a horrible consequence for failing to rationalize every worst outcome of their actions.


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