Intentions
One of my readers has brought up a very good point: Do I read people intentionally? Do I set out to go to a party, with the intent to read people, and spot lies?
It's an interesting question, because that is what most people probably do when they try to read someone else, they do it intentionally. I would guess, when the average person wonders if someone is lying, they tune into their observations, focus and watch with intent.
But I do not focus or watch with intent--90% of the time.
It just when you see a smile, I happen to see the falseness behind that smile. Or when you see someone saying they are doing well, I'll see a flash of a pain that tells me otherwise. I can't stop it, or turn it off. It's as visible, to me, like the light of day.
When someone is telling you a story, and you are casually listening, so am I, bu unlike most people, a red flag will pop out at me that the choice of words that person is using is odd, and out-of-place. It will feel strange to me. I can't stop or change it. It's who I am. It's how I perceive the world.
For me, I am just as casual and relaxed as you are when I converse or watch people. I'm not prepared for, or expecting, a lie. It's just that I see these hidden flashes of emotions, get these pangs that something isn't jiving, or see these little red flags that something isn't right. They usually pop up out of the blue. The information often blind-sides me most of the time. I'm not expecting it. I don't focus to see it. It's just there, before me, like a smile or a frown, so obvious to anyone watching.
Now granted, there are times when a casual conversation or encounter will pop up read flags in my mind, and I DO take note of them and consciously tune in. If I find value in the red flag, find I am personally involved, or someone I love is involved, then I may very well tune myself into high gear to really observe that person on a deeper level, but that is rare for me. Most of the time in my personal life, I don't care too much about it. The lies are not important. I spot them, realize their source, instantaneously, and move on.
Ironically, I never set out to see lies. Rather, for me, I always set out to see the truth, and by the truth, I mean I set out to truly understand people. I always want to get to know the "real person" behind the exterior of society. Who are you, really?
I crave the truth, ironically: Not lies.
Another reason I know it is not a conscious choice for me to see lies is because in order to spot lies, you have to be highly attuned to other people's emotions. I am highly attuned by my genetic make-up, to the point that I pick up on so much PAIN, at times, in the world around me, it almost unbearable. If I could turn it off, god knows there would be weeks and months where I would do it! I'll write more about this in a coming post.
It's an interesting question, because that is what most people probably do when they try to read someone else, they do it intentionally. I would guess, when the average person wonders if someone is lying, they tune into their observations, focus and watch with intent.
But I do not focus or watch with intent--90% of the time.
It just when you see a smile, I happen to see the falseness behind that smile. Or when you see someone saying they are doing well, I'll see a flash of a pain that tells me otherwise. I can't stop it, or turn it off. It's as visible, to me, like the light of day.
When someone is telling you a story, and you are casually listening, so am I, bu unlike most people, a red flag will pop out at me that the choice of words that person is using is odd, and out-of-place. It will feel strange to me. I can't stop or change it. It's who I am. It's how I perceive the world.
For me, I am just as casual and relaxed as you are when I converse or watch people. I'm not prepared for, or expecting, a lie. It's just that I see these hidden flashes of emotions, get these pangs that something isn't jiving, or see these little red flags that something isn't right. They usually pop up out of the blue. The information often blind-sides me most of the time. I'm not expecting it. I don't focus to see it. It's just there, before me, like a smile or a frown, so obvious to anyone watching.
Now granted, there are times when a casual conversation or encounter will pop up read flags in my mind, and I DO take note of them and consciously tune in. If I find value in the red flag, find I am personally involved, or someone I love is involved, then I may very well tune myself into high gear to really observe that person on a deeper level, but that is rare for me. Most of the time in my personal life, I don't care too much about it. The lies are not important. I spot them, realize their source, instantaneously, and move on.
Ironically, I never set out to see lies. Rather, for me, I always set out to see the truth, and by the truth, I mean I set out to truly understand people. I always want to get to know the "real person" behind the exterior of society. Who are you, really?
I crave the truth, ironically: Not lies.
Another reason I know it is not a conscious choice for me to see lies is because in order to spot lies, you have to be highly attuned to other people's emotions. I am highly attuned by my genetic make-up, to the point that I pick up on so much PAIN, at times, in the world around me, it almost unbearable. If I could turn it off, god knows there would be weeks and months where I would do it! I'll write more about this in a coming post.
Labels: About Me, How I Detect
